Read an Excerpt

Pagan Portals Sacred Sex and Magick

John Hunt Publishing Ltd.

Contemporary Paganism and Sex Magick: What is Going on Now?

Like any other magick, contemporary pagans engage in sex magick to extend their spiritual practice and alter their lives. Spells, merger with the Gods and Goddesses, expansion of consciousness, healing and ritual celebration are enhanced by sex magick. We are challenged to be aware that what we have been doing is sex magick. Our stories about sex magick make that clear. Then we examine the possibilities for contemporary paganism in exploring more applications for sex magick.

Sacred Sex and Personal Growth

Sex magick is an act of worship or divine connection. Even when we are not consciously drawing down the God or Goddess into our bodies and our lovemaking, they are present. The Sufi seer Rumi said, 'The way you make love is the way God will be with you.' In The Charge of the Goddess, Doreen Valiente wrote, 'Every act of love and pleasure are my rituals.' Sex magick is divine communication, prayer and worship. The Gods are present when we make love.

Satira, one of Web women who works regularly in trance and as a channeler related a shamanic vision in which she was in the Temple of Isis. The Goddess was seated on her throne and many of her devotees were present. Her son Horus was also there, looking as virile and handsome as one might expect, bronze skin, dark hair and eyes, chiseled features. Perhaps this was not the first time Satira had been to the Temple, but it was her first ecstatic connection with Horus. As the heat grew between them and he kissed her she felt the desire for him, but pulled back. They were not only in a public place, but in a Temple. His mother was watching, as were many of the others assembled in the hall. Raised in a nice comfortable Roman Catholic background where one does not have sex on the altar, part of Satira was horrified by his seduction. Part of her wanted him more than anything else in the world. He encouraged her. His mother nodded with approval and those around them smiled expectantly. As he removed her clothes and his, she found resistance fade. Then Isis encouraged her to enter the loving and called her, 'My daughter.' Satira gasped. Did that make her the sister of Horus? Did it matter? She was too far gone in the experience to care, and gave herself over to the ecstasy of embracing and enveloping the God in his mother's Temple as an act of worship.

That vision has never left Satira. It was a challenge of her beliefs about propriety in worship, about incest, about who the Gods are and what they believe. The encounter opened her to possibilities of divine and human relationships.

The truth is, we have Spirit Lovers waiting for us in Temples, wild places, even in our bedrooms. When we allow ourselves to transgress taboos foisted on us from a society that fears both sex and religion and is terrified of the Gods, then we learn who we really are, brothers and sisters of the Gods. We are co-creators. We are sons and daughters, but not always as children. We can grow up and be consorts, companions and friends. We are also lovers.

Anemone had a similar visionary experience. She appeared in a Hindu Temple and at the instruction of the Goddess exchanged places with her on a platform elevated above the crowd. The outpouring of love from the assembly was ecstatic, resonating her heart, womb and genitals. The two changed places many times, moving from the front row of worshipers to the raised area above them until the exchange began to feel natural. She was able to accept the adoration from the crowd and the Goddess. Only later did she realize most of those assembled in the Temple were Gods and Goddesses themselves, including Shiva who embraced his Shakti in love and passion there in the midst of them all.

In that vision, the sacred sex was acted out in the Temple by a sacred couple. Anemone the seer was caught up in the energy of that deep loving. She also experienced the adoration given to the Gods as an ecstatic love showered on her. She broke through the sense of unworthiness to take her place freely on a pedestal. That elevation was not a comfortable place for her. It was a taboo as strong as the one against incest, but it was pierced and tattered in her vision.

This visionary sacred sex was brought to individuals to move them beyond their limiting beliefs. The values and behavior outside of the earth dimension are clearly different than those we live by here. There, familial relationships are not barriers to sexual encounters. We have heard that told in our ancient stories about the Gods and their many love affairs. The Isis story of loving one's brother who is sacrificed, birthing his child who becomes the father and repeating the cycle is part of our psychic legacy. We cannot understand the cycle of the rise of the vegetation God, his marriage and fertility offered for the fields and his subsequent sacrifice for the harvest if we apply our own moral codes to behavior from other worlds.

That is not to say we should change our laws and standards here in the earth dimension. Experiencing love with the Gods does not alter our marriage vows. We are not being offered models for this life in marrying our siblings or killing off sacrifices to enhance our harvests. These experiences and stories are meant to push our boundaries in love and extend our souls across the dimensions. We are more than we imagine in our souls and spirits. We are more than earth beings. When we operate in the world of spirit, we stop being limited human beings stuck in time and space. With that awareness of who we really are, we can return to the earth dimension, raise energy through our bodies and create great magick.

Sexual Healing through Ecstasy

Kerry Riley, in Tantric Secrets for Men, says, 'The single most important factor in lengthening life is to know the correct way to make love.' (p.191) Orgasm releases endorphins which heal us and lessen pain. Human touch and hugs held for a minute or two change blood pressure and respiration. We understand sex magick as a healing experience. Sex revitalizes us within. That rejuvenation is catching. It revitalizes people within our circle, even though we have no physical sexual connection together. It is magick by contagion.

Sex magick increases our understanding of the genders. By recognizing our own inner male and female, we build empathy and trust between the sexes which our society insists are at war. Diana Richardson, in Tantric Orgasm for Women, says, 'We must understand that woman is in fact half man and man is half woman.' (p.43) We understand sex magick creates communication and trust between partners. They may be same sexed or opposite sexed partners, but we all have a full spectrum of masculine and feminine within us.

Sex magick heals our sexual histories and dysfunction. It increases our self-love for imperfect bodies. Or should I say bodies that are perfect, but outside the societal norms? Broken hearts, fertility issues, and low self-esteem are well within the scope of sexual healing. Sexual obsessions, post-traumatic stress from sexual assault and other acts of violence, and fear of commitment, respond positively to sacred sex. Applying sexually charged magick to any of these life-limiting issues requires an understanding and loving partner. Alternatively our Spirit Lovers can work this magick with us when we are prepared to heal and ask them for help. The healing requires courage and creativity, but it works.

Connecting Across the Genders

As a beginning in sexual healing, we examine our own gender identity and our notions about men, women and the intersexes. This is important because our pagan community includes people in traditional gender roles, feminist activists, heterosexual and homosexual couples, and individuals who have changed genders (intersexed). In the Web's introductory class, To Know the Magick, we typically journey through a hand-held mirror to meet our same sex and opposite sex selves. Men are often uncomfortable with their own femininity. Women may resist any suggestion of machismo in their personality. Intersexed and transgendered people find themselves confronted by more facets of being than they thought they had. These encounters are important initiations to the healing journeys to come. We start there because it is important to know who we really are. These other aspects of self are allies in our healing. They introduce us to other spirits. They are the Gods and Goddesses. They are also us.

How does this work? Our gender meditations occur in sacred space during an all-day seminar. The group grounds, breathes together and enters a guided meditation. First they are told to gaze into a mirror and connect to their deepest consciousness through their eyes. They hold this gaze long enough to feel a physical opening to the inner self. Then they are told to let the mirror enlarge or their bodies shrink so they can open the mirror like a door or sink through it like the surface of a pond. They enter the room on the other side of the mirror and visually explore it. Each person has a different experience at this point, so they are given time to understand where they are.

The next cue is for the students to see someone approaching through a door or corridor in the back of the room behind the mirror. This person is lit from behind, so initially their outline is all that is identifiable. The class is cued on whether or not this is the same or opposite sex self, so presumably the outline shows them the gender, though that is not always the case. The two approach one another curiously and are guided to make each other's acquaintance. They gaze into each other's eyes, observe each other's dress and appearance. Colors are important. They exchange names, gifts and secrets. When the encounter is complete they embrace, kiss and bid farewell. The alternative self then exits through the back of the room. The student returns to the mirror and climbs through to the ritual circle. They are cued to return to their normal size, to return the mirror to the normal size, breathe and look about to see where they are. Then they ground again. Students record this experience in their journals or Book of Shadows. We discuss the visions at length and then take a break before repeating the experience to meet the second self of the other sex.

When both journeys are complete, the students are encouraged to find an uninterrupted space of time once they get home, and make love to their same and opposite sex selves. They can meet in the same way through the mirror as long as they need to. Later such meetings will be more spontaneous and they can simply call one another. We include these aspects of ourselves in our daily routine and build relationships with our other selves to integrate them into our identity. In their private work, some people may include additional journeys to explore a wider range of gender possibilities since there are people who feel they inhabit the wrong sex body, people who were born with sexual characteristics that are ambiguous or inclusive of both male and female parts, and people who truly do not fit the societal sex roles. As a community, we seek to learn all we can about who we are and they are, and understand that we are all One. In the case of younger students who may not be exploring their bodies to stimulate orgasm, they are offered the option of going on a date with themselves, holding hands and kissing. The ecstatic merger will develop naturally as the teens explore their own sexuality in their own time.

Healing Applications of our Multiple Genders

We explore our gender identity to help us be more of who we are. Whether we are straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered or some other combination, the truth is that all potentialities reside in the many facets of our souls. However, we are all humans holding various levels of prejudice. We have erected boundaries where we need them. Sometimes those must remain intact. We learn biases where we are lazy in our unthinking, or fearful in our beliefs. We encourage people to confront prejudice and come clean about it. In the great breathtaking universe there is no room for distrust of an entire gender or sexual orientation. In a spiritual community, men may not mock or ridicule women. Women may not dismiss or belittle men. We welcome and celebrate the marriage or partnering of couples regardless of their genitalia. However, being human we all have history to work through, information to learn and stereotypes to unlearn. Working intimately with our same and opposite sex selves takes a big healing step toward those goals and does so with sacred sexuality.

We often refer to a plaque Anemone's grandmother had over the dining table about walking a mile in someone else's moccasins before criticizing their situation. All of us have a story about our own sexual initiation. All of us had sexual experiences that failed to live up to our dreams. All of us have our hearts broken at some time. Too many of us have been sexually abused or attacked. Where our pain hides our wounds within the body is as unique as our faces and physiques. Learning we have parts of our identity who share a gender role with those who wounded us is an important realization. We can learn more about men and how they think or women and how they intuit, as two examples, by connecting with the part of us that does the same left brain/right brain process. We may have thought that process was foreign to our own way of being, but it is not.

The good news is this lesson is fun! Meeting and loving ourselves, drawing us both to ecstatic passionate orgasm is a joy. It is transformative and mind expanding. We learn to get over ourselves and be taught by the spirit. When we make love with our alternate selves, we set the scene with scented candles or flowers. Maybe we enjoy a picnic on the bed. We share favorite foods with our other self in our imagination, lick ice cream or juicy fruits off our own skin, and imagine sharing that. We sip some wine, play romantic music, or heavy metal rock if that's what turns us on. Maybe we watch a love story together as we woo ourselves as we wish to be wooed. We enjoy this connection in all ecstatic possibilities.

Healing Broken Hearts with Sacred Sex

Depending on whether or not a deep grieving heart is the result of a recent break up or an old hurt, the ecstasy of sacred sex can be with one's human lover or Spirit Lover. Obviously, if a divorce or betrayal has occurred, the last thing one should attempt is a sacred sex reunion. Sometimes we are grieving because a partner died. We think we will never be loved, never be sexual again. That is a time for the Spirit Lovers described earlier, or the Divine Lovers, to step in and work their magick by affirming our desirability. Knowing that our sex lives are not over because a relationship ended is healing in itself. Even when we feel hopeless, if we can organize our actions to create a romantic tryst with a Spirit Lover, our healing unfolds. Healing from loss is not a one-time event. This nurturing from spirit needs to continue until our hearts beat soundly and lovingly.

On the other hand, old unresolved wounds from the past step up to haunt us. Then an intentional tryst with our current human partner may work magick if we set the intent for healing. This requires both partners to be very patient with the process. It begins with talking. Actually all healing begins with talking. The wounded lover needs to tell his or her story to the healing lover. The listener needs to refrain from offering advice, fixes or even suggestions. Nods, hand holding, or reflective listening are helpful. These are affirmations that the speaker is being heard. When the story is done, the couple makes a magickal intent for healing the heart. They write it out together and place it on the altar near the bed. Perhaps they need to set up an altar in the bedroom if it isn't there already. For this ritual of sexual healing, they might need a black tourmaline to work through stuck places. That should be cleansed with salt water and placed on the altar.

They light incense for heart healing: rose, lavender, jasmine or neroli. They listen to music that vibrates the heart, maybe music that includes their special shared song. Then a loving sensual massage from the healing partner using oil that complements the incense works out the knots of tension. Long, slow, tender strokes reassure the wounded lover that this is a place of love and safety. As they continue the massage over the entire body, the healing partner reminds the other of their love, their promises to keep each other safe, their intention to release old pains and replace them with affection. The massage moves naturally into erotic caresses and kisses, which are returned according to the ability of the wounded partner to do so. If this begins as one-sided loving, that is part of the healing too. The healing partner always continues to protect the heart of the other, sending it gentle waves of love, softness and trust. Verbal communication of that intention is very helpful as the loving proceeds.

---

Excerpted from Pagan Portals Sacred Sex and Magick by Web Path Center. Copyright © 2014 Web PATH Center. Excerpted by permission of John Hunt Publishing Ltd..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---