If I’m to understand this holiday correctly, April 1st is a day to confess when you’ve been a fool or tell people that you are in fact, a fool. So, without further adieu (adieu is such a
weird word, I can only assume it’s Latin, they’re always coming up with new words), here’s a few of my most recent fooleries. I just made that word up but autocorrect didn’t fix it. WHY HAVEN’T I
EVER BEEN TO A FOOLERY? Is it a place? It sounds like a place, but it shouldn’t be confused with a foalery, which I totally just made up and can only assume is a horse nursery.
Now that I think about it, there is “TOMfoolery” WAIT WHAT?!?! That is one word? I had no idea. This article has already taught me something! Maybe that’s the reason I write, to learn about things that I make up in my head. Maybe subconsciously I actually know more than I think I know. Trippy. I hope you didn’t know about fooleries though, I want this to help you as much as it helps me. Maybe someday we can visit a foolery together? Anyway, start using foolery in conversation and tell your friends that a writer you know uses it all the time. You’ll sound super interesting and if you say that the writer who told you about it was Jason Donnelly, they’ll be like, “Wait, “THE Jason Donnelly?” And you’ll be like… “Yeah, I KNOW him… we’re super close best friends.” They’ll probably try to say that I’m too much of a big deal to be buddies with you, but tell them to stick it where the sun don’t shine (which I can only assume is in Oregon, with all that rain. I couldn’t imagine living in a place that’s so dreary!) and then see if you can get cheap tickets to Oregon, because I’d really like to check it out. I heard they have a booming artist community there.
If you need my phone number to back up the story (or discuss our schedules for the trip itself), by all means, reach out. We can text. People still text right? Or maybe if you want we can use Kik? WhatsApp? Snapchat? I don’t know man or lady… whatever your conversation platform of choice is, I’m down to clown. But not really “clown,” per se (that’s another one of those new Latin phrases, which I can only assume means purse say… like, what a purse would say, because women always have stuff in their purse that’s kind of like what you’re talking about. Ya know, I’m not really sure if that’s Latin. Maybe it’s French?). Irregardless (how much do you hate when people use words that aren’t proper, amirite? AMIRITE IS A REAL WORD?!?!
Today is turning into a giant excursion into words I never knew were words! How exciting can this become?) Funny sidebar about being “down to clown,” I hate clowns, they freak me out, which may surprise you since I’m a juggler. You didn’t know that? I thought we were closer than this. You know what IS close? My birthday! It was two days ago, March 30th. Which is weird to say, since today is actually the 27th of March (how meta is this? You’re inside the brain of a writer on like 3 different levels, the writing itself, the stream of conscious, AND the fact that you’re reading this as if I was writing it WHILE you’re reading it, or not, maybe you’re reading it after April first. I don’t really know your reading habits).
So, turning 34, let’s talk about habits! Good habits consist of a white coif (the garment's headpiece and includes the white cotton cap secured by a bandeau and a white wimple or guimpe of starched linen, cotton, or (today) polyester to cover the cheeks and neck) and bad habits consist of smoking, drinking, and drugs (who’s a fan of the oxford comma (or that song by Vampire Weekend?) I’m a huge fan (of both the comma and the band), but I overuse commas to begin with, so maybe it’s not a good idea to talk about my love for them). Back to the nuns. I’m not a nun, but I can only assume that they named themselves that after not getting none, but between you and I, how cute are those outfits? I mean, it wouldn’t be hard for them (maybe nun is Latin for none?).
Let’s get this back on track (that phrasing is weird. Is it a super old thing? Like, getting a train back on the tracks? Or, like, following in someone’s footsteps (which is a phrase in and of itself), maybe it’s like, tracking an animal? I guess I can only assume that they said something like, “let’s stop this tomfoolery and get back on the track.”). Welp, there it is. I circled the wagons back around to focus on foolery. Do I win something? Probably not. After all, this is just writing. This is just how I think about the world. And a fool or not, I hope you have a good time coming along for the ride (I won’t go into what ride we’re going on, since we probably won’t). Let’s wrap this up… I guess in the end, I’m writing about foolery because I wrote a book that’s a little foolish. Mind you, it doesn’t sound like this, but I guess it does sound a little like this. It’s mostly like this, except less streamy. Although, the one part is a little steamy. Like, there’s this shower scene with the girl in the book… But anywho… I should be going, have to feed the cat, although when I wrote the book I didn’t have a cat, which surprises people since the first line is about something gross involving a dude and his cat… you should read it and send me hate mail or hate texts or whatever form you’d like to do it in. Here’s a link to Gripped.
@jasonwdonnelly
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