By Autumn Barlow, publisher of Top Hat Books

 

I am going to talk briefly about guidelines, not rules. And these guidelines need to be considered during the self-editing stage of writing.

There are many different ways to write and NONE of them is the “correct” way. Some write by the seat of their pants; others plan. Many folk use both techniques, or some combination. I’d urge writers to try different methods but you can never insist that your way is right. It’s just your way.

However, once the first draft is written - however you do it - then comes the task of editing. Hemingway often has a quote attributed to him: “write drunk, edit sober.” Whatever the legitimacy of this handy excuse for a tipple, it does translate well. Write in the heat of passion but look at editing with a cold, hard, rational eye.

“Show, don’t tell.”

There are many “rules” I could write about here but in this blog I shall consider only this one. “Show, don’t tell.”

Firstly - this depends on your genre. I am constantly amazed when I meet writers who don’t read the genre they are writing. If you don’t read your genre, how will you know the conventions? How will you meet the readers’ expectations and give them a satisfying experience? I would urge you to really know your genre, inside-out. And then you will know how much showing versus telling that you can get away with. An action-adventure story will have a lot of dramatic action described - a lot of “show”. High fantasy can get away with pages and pages of world building and backstory. So, this advice of “show, don’t tell” is flexible and depends on your genre.

Secondly - all books need a certain amount of tell. Show and tell affect the pace of the book, as does dialogue (which ought to be a way of “showing” but some authors use it as “tell” - more on that, later.) You would be exhausted if you read a book that was relentlessly show, show, show. And dead of boredom if it were all tell, tell, tell. You need balance. The editing stage, after the first draft, is all about balance.

After all, every single scene that you write has to have a purpose - and it ought to create emotion in the reader. Is that emotion excitement? Then pick up the pace, “show” more and lose the “tell.” Or have you just had a high-octane chapter, and now need to give the characters (and reader) a moment of quiet reflection? Then lean towards more “tell.” It’s like a symphony. Don’t be afraid to move scenes around to create a better balance.

Thirdly - “Showing” is commonly misunderstood. It can be about using description to give an idea of a character but often, writers do this superficially.

Example of “tell”:

Bob was an angry man, quick to judge and to shout at people for perceived slights. Consequently, he had no friends.

In all fairness, this is not a “bad” piece of writing and breaks no “rules” - depending on how it is used. If Bob is an incidental character who pops up in this scene for a little while, you don’t need much else.

But if Bob is a recurring character whose personality affects the plot (as all well-drawn characters will) then many writers decide to “show” like this.

Example of “show”:

Bob’s brows knit together in anger. “You spilt my pint, you…”

He swore foully and made a swipe at the other man, his fists calloused from many previous fights.

Again, not a “bad” example - if used in a limited fashion. However, I sometimes see authors overusing description as a way of “showing”:

Bob’s brows knit together. “You spilt my pint!” he shouted angrily.

“I’m sorry,” the other man apologized.

Bob clenched his fist. “Don’t you know who I am?” he roared.

“No, I–” the other man stammered.

Bob grabbed the victim’s coat and pulled him close. “You should know!” he yelled in fury.

This is an example of overwriting. I think we know Bob is angry! We knew from the first sentence but the author has battered us over the head with it.

When you have dialogue and dialogue tags, let the dialogue “show”. If you have written speech well, you do not need the dialogue tag. If you must have a tag, use “said.” In the example above, the speech conveys the meaning - “I’m sorry” - so it doesn’t need “the other man apologized” as well. It’s repetition and this feels clumsy and amateur. In a sense, you are “showing” (through dialogue) and “telling” (through the dialogue tags.)

So, in the simplest form, while “showing” is better than “telling” where you want the action to move forward quickly, it can be overused.

Fourthly - “Showing” is far more than using a description.

Here is a fairly good example:

Bob’s fist clenched as the waiter brushed past him. “Watch it, mate.”

There is a sense of anger here. No need for “said angrily” or any of that.

But wait - there’s more. If Bob is a central character, and if his anger issues are part of the plot, we need to ensure the reader really knows he is angry all the time, right?

Now, you could show this every time through his little body movements - fists clenching, brows lowering. Fair enough. This is “show” and it is as far as many authors go.

If you want to step into super-storytelling-mode though, there is another level.

It takes more time to weave it throughout a story but it creates a far more lasting impression on the reader. And, as an additional tip, credit your reader with intelligence. Don’t write to the lowest common denominator. Don’t spell everything out for them. Let a character emerge throughout the novel - then it becomes a journey for the reader.

So Bob’s an angry man? There is no need to have him getting into a fight in chapter one. Instead, lay a few little clues through Bob’s everyday choices. He’s invited to a workplace party. He refuses, and instead goes home to drink six cans of beer in front of the television. He stacks the empty cans on his porch. Maybe he’s recycling? No. At the end of the chapter he’s got out his rifle - he’s drunk - he’s using them as target practice. Uh-oh…

I hope you can see this is more subtle. The reader is picking up on a few things about Bob’s character. He’s not a people-person, is he? We’d be wary of him. Drunk and alone and with weapons. You would not invite this man to babysit your kids.

At no point does the narration need to say “Bob is an angry man with no friends.” And neither do we need clenched fists or lowered brows to “show” this. Instead, we drip-feed it throughout the plot, showing the reader.

In a sense, you are speaking to the readers’ subconscious. Showing the reader his anger - “his fists clench” - is nice and easy and obvious. But letting the reader pick up on the clues themselves makes the reader feel good. They are puzzling it out. They are meeting the character of Bob and making their own judgements (or they think they are! You’re controlling this … subtly.)

THIS is the real meaning of “show, don’t tell.” Let the character emerge by action and deed. Let the reader get to know them. Let the reader do some work and come to their own conclusions. It’s not a case of one sentence saying Bob’s angry. Bob’s anger is a theme that affects his everyday life so show us in that way. You can write a very angry character without ever using the phrase “he said angrily” or “Bob was angry.”

 

Conclusion

But - as always - let me emphasize that it depends on your genre. It depends on the pace you want to set in the book. There is no “rule” that says you must now go through and delete every dialogue tag.

Once your first draft is written - however you write it - approach editing with a clinical mind, and consider pace, consider character, and consider how you let the reader get involved.

Let the character emerge by action and deed.

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