Lessons from Katherine
A spiritual memoir about loving and parenting a disabled child amidst grief, financial difficulty, and marital discord.
A spiritual memoir about loving and parenting a disabled child amidst grief, financial difficulty, and marital discord.
A spiritual memoir about loving and parenting a disabled child amidst grief, financial difficulty, and marital discord.
Children with special needs, Personal memoirs, Spirituality
What would you do when the beautiful baby you've adopted turns out to have serious disabilities? When the doctors tell you to "give her back"? When you're also struggling to build a business, finish school and hold your marriage together? Lessons from Katherine is a spiritual memoir about loving and parenting our disabled child amidst grief, financial difficulty, and marital discord. It's the struggle of every young marriage and family: to hold on, to form a family, to carve out a place in the world--but amplified.
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In recent years, a new genre in disability related literature has emerged. While not scholarly in nature, lessons can yet be extracted. This new narrative emerges from the perspective of the parent of a child with disability - most often the mother. One such story is Lessons from Katherine, written in an easy conversational style by Glenda W. Prins, an ordained United Church of Christ minister. Lessons is not a recounted biography of the adopted daughter Katherine, but an up close and vulnerable diary of the author’s spiritual struggles through life in a context tempered by disability. In fact the story is not focused on the multiple disabilities of Katherine, but on the inability of the author to cope with lost dreams. Inability defines this work – inability to achieve ordination as a female, to conceive a child, to navigate the complex bio-medical world successfully, to keep a business afloat, to sustain a marital relationship, and to communicate openly with God. Yet despite these disabling conditions, the author eventually finds resolution within the tension: ordination is achieved, businesses become restored, relationships are reconciled and new life emerges. The human journey is messy yet redeemable. Lessons from Katherine unveils a seldom lifted curtain on the emotional stress families affected by disability undergo. It reveals the mindset behind a parent doing whatever it takes for their child. Do not look for pithy comforting statements in this book – it is full of anguish and emotion. Nor is this a guidebook – lessons learned are not articulated to be replicated. Perhaps the major insight gleaned is reflected in the epilogue – experience with disability does not make one a better person, but a different one. For professionals in the special education or human disability service sector who desire to understand real family dynamics, this book provides a partial glimpse. As a parent of a child with a disability, I can relate all too well to these genuine scenarios. Yet this is not just for professionals or those touched by disability. It is a journal of how a person develops a faithful spiritually, tears and all, during times of continual crisis. Spiritual journeys are often personal. This memoir will comfort some and create questions in others – but can be worth the time to read. ~ Rev. Marvin J. Miller, M.Div, Friendship Ministries in leiu of Nella
Glenda Prins spends a long time cataloguing her anger and rage at her situation. She adopted an apparently healthy baby only to find that she was severely disabled. Much of the misery is caused by faults in the US medical system and its practitioners, and the response of some Christians to Katherine. The book is short on joy. Katherine is much loved by her parents, but misery dominates. Finally, Mrs Prins becomes a pastor, and her faith seems to carry her a little higher in the water. The book is part of a series entitled Spiritual Struggles, and to a degree the spiritual does eventually help with the struggle. ~ Ruth Allen, Reform Magazine May 2013
Lessons from Katherine, well written by her mother Glenda Prins, is set in the States, but has worldwide appeal to all who struggle to care for handicapped children. Glenda and Tom marry young at 22 and 24 but one blow follows another. Short of money they discover that they are unable to have their own children, then find out in their late 20s that the beautiful child they adopted has cerebral palsy, initially thought to be mild, but later turning out to be severe, involving seizures and hip operations. This is a courageously honest tale, of raw emotions, some self-pity but mostly rage against professionals, God, and at times Tom. They feel isolation from the 'normal' world around them, and things begin to fall apart, his business, their marriage, and their faith, yet ironically it was Glenda's new career in a seminary and later as a church pastor that pulled them through. Without much support from relatives, their life's journey is vividly and painfully described with joy and woe, free of cosy religious piety. But readers looking for final illumination about the problem of suffering and arguments to justify God's role in the world will be disappointed. However, we are given an epilogue and closing acknowledgements that are pregnant with meaning: the 62 year old writer, still together with Tom, thanks Katherine who "imprinted my heart with love that never leaves me" and ends with "abundant thanks for abundant blessings". She has discovered that "God's graciousness is bigger than my despair" but readers are left to discover for themselves how that claim was properly justified. ~ Revd Dr John Morris, Author of Contemporary Creed: www.contemporarycreed.org.uk
Reading, "Lessons from Katherine," I went through all kinds of emotions and that happened in the first chapter! I laughed. I cried. I was inspired. Glenda Prins did not keep anything back when writing this. As a person who work with individuals with disabilities, the book helped me to understand why parents of child with disabilities are often every protective and want answers for everything. There honestly isn't enough good I can say about this book. It made me reflect on myself as a mother and made my heart go out to anyone with this challenge in front of them. ~ Lindsey Wollschleger, Medical Liaison, Heritage Christian Services, Inc.
This is an extraordinary book. At times joyous about the author's beautiful child, Katherine, and at ties achingly sad about the child's disability, which changes all their lives, The author, a devout Christian, rails again her God in honest despair, that a loving God would allow this affliction. There are no easy platitudes her about blessing God for giving them this chance to nurture their child. This is a family trying to absorb this burden and allow their love for Katherine to help her develop as she is able. Conflicting advice from doctors adds to the unease and difficulty with which they meet each challenge. Much trial and error leads to exuberant highs and desperate lows. Though it all, the brightness of Katherine herself keeps the family from descending into unrelievable grief. Their struggles will stay with the reader long after the last page. ~ Margrett McFadden, Penfield School Libraries, Chairperson, (ret.)
Written with feelings that come from the soul and refreshing honesty, Lessons from Katherine conveys to the reader the challenges, pain, and unique joys inherent in parenting a child who contends with major disability. In addition, insights are provided into working together within a marriage, the role of professionals, the support of people who care for us, and the struggles of reconciling our faith with reality, even within the heart of a pastor. But more than anything, this book carries us into the realm of unconditional love. ~ Dr. Lawrence Nazaian, MD, Peditrician, Rochester NY
This is a story about one family's incredible life journey. How they came to terms with their adopted child's disability; and the effect it had on their lives both as husband and wife and as beings, on which at times a seemingly insurmountable challenge had been import. Their hope and determination to make their situation work, as well as their resilience in the face of so many obstacles made it possible for them to effectively achieve their goals. ~ Susan Gornall, Rochester, MY
Lessons from Katherine is both compelling and illuminating. Its stories and reflections make for gripping reading, while laying bare the needs of families raising children with disabilities--and the strategies that help them navigate this most difficult challenge. Parents will see in these pages a reflection of their own dreams and struggles. Pastors and counselors will gain insight into what helps and what hinders the full participation of disabled persons and those who care for them. A must-read for anyone who seeks to build whole, healthy, inclusive families and communities!
~ The Rev. Martha Koenig Stone, Associate Pastor, Henrietta United Church of ChristThis corageous, clearly written book challenges us to think how we love, how we survive, how we keep the faith. The author tells us how one famiy member or circumstance effects everyone--for generations. Thank you for daring to share.
~ Ms. Martha Tollers, Family and Marriage Therapist, Rochester, NYI thoroughly enjoyed reading "Lessons from Katherine," could hardly put it down as the story unfolded and the emotional drew me in. The feelings portrayed were genuine and from the heart, a story of Gods grace in the midst of disappointment and struggle. The love that Katherines family came to experience because of this special childs life is a testimony to us all.
~ Ms. Gail Elenbaas, Leader, Coffee Break Ministries, Dearborn, MI