Feb 19, 2013 reprinted from Fathers After 40
Author Erin Flynn Jay’s book, Mastering the Mommy Track, focuses mostly on women, of course. But she’s also got some practical advice for the men in their lives too, which she shares with us here.
Here are five ways today’s career Moms can master the fiercely competitive mommy track:
Women have made great strides toward equality in the workplace, but not at home. Household chores largely fall on the mothers’ shoulders–but these tasks and parenting responsibilities should be divided equally. Women will never have time for themselves until they can achieve this balance at home. Women should schedule their free time in advance otherwise it might not happen.
Getting that free time requires planning and cooperation with their spouse or partner. Each person’s free time can be scheduled and agreed on–and both must commit to making it happen.
If you are a Dad who is hands-on with the kids and housework, hats off to you.
Many are not. A June 2011 survey by ForbesWoman and TheBump.com confirmed that most moms feel resentful of their partners over their shared duties. Most mothers said they feel like single moms, despite being married or living with a partner. This is a sad revelation. More fathers have to partake in the housework and become more active in their kids’ activities. This will temper that resentment.
Here are a few examples of how you can step up your game at home:
- If you sense your wife or partner is stressed out and needs a break, take the kids out on the weekend for an afternoon so she can have some time to decompress, go for a walk, get her nails done or just relax for a few hours to herself.
- Pitch in more with the housework like cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. That is a sure way to a woman’s heart. Forget flowers or chocolates. After a long day’s work, your spouse will be overjoyed if she can relax on the couch, watch some TV or scroll Facebook while you take on some household chores.
- When was the last time you told your wife you appreciated all she does? Remember to communicate that to her. Moms run non-stop, and when they get home from work, they move along to cooking dinner, helping with homework, giving kids baths, and so forth. Instead of giving her a to-do list of items you need at the store or tasks you need completed, please tell her how much you love and appreciate all she does for you and the family.
There are also ways that women can help themselves master the mommy track. Here are my other four suggestions:
Do not overstress yourself when times are tough. Many women nationwide are in a panic mode, afraid of losing their job or struggling to find work and concerned about their family’s financial situation. Career moms should realize that the economic downturn is nationwide; millions of others are experiencing the same hardships. The events happening today will turn around in the future. Their spouse will get a job in his field again; it just may take more time. Self-employed women will land new clients if they keep up the prospecting efforts.
Do not be so preoccupied with work or your career that you miss out on quality time with your kids.Ditch the smart phone for an hour or two each weekday so you can play with your kids or read to them. Limit the amount of TV they watch, and strive for quality interactions. Make the weekends extra special—take them on family outings to local parks, museums or excursions. Ask them what is going on at school, and they will tell you. Evaluate their current daycare or preschool program to make sure it is the best fit for them.
To avoid burnout, women can communicate their needs to others by letting their spouse or partner, family members, and friends know what they need. This relates to my first point. Do not be afraid of asking that groceries be purchased and put away, dinner be started, toys picked up, laundry folded, and so forth. Instead of reacting to unmet needs, moms can be proactive by expressing their needs from the start. When their needs are met, there is less exasperation.
Seek flex time. How can mothers can take their careers to the next level–even with active home lives? Flex time is paramount so moms can be part of their kids’ activities. Women
can ask their current employer for a change in their schedule–whether that be the option of telecommuting, working flexible hours, working a compressed workweek, or going part-time. They can build a
solid case for changing their schedule and see if their boss will allow some flexibility. If not, then perhaps it is time to find a job that allows flexible work options.
Erin Flynn Jay is a writer, public relations executive and author of Mastering the Mommy Track: Juggling Career and Kids in Uncertain Times (2012, Collective Ink). Her work has appeared in publications including careerbuilder.com, MSN Careers, Brandweek, Costco Connection, Opportunity World, Sales and Marketing Excellence, The New York Enterprise Report and Wealth Manager. In 2010, Erin wrote extensively about timely professional coaching topics for www.coachingcommons.org.Mastering The Mommy Track is available on Amazon and barnesandnoble.com.
Mastering the Mommy Track - Juggling Career and Kids In Uncertain Times
ISBN: 978-1-78099-123-8, $19.95 / £11.99, paperback, 206pp
EISBN: 978-1-78099-124-5, $9.99 / £6.99, eBook
Many working mothers today face great tension between their families and careers. They are more likely than men to feel pressed for time and conflicted about being away from young children while working. They are also more likely to seek out help or guidance. Mastering the Mommy Track tells the stories of everyday working mothers, the challenges they have faced, and lessons learned. It also offers solutions from experts on how mothers can overcome current issues in order to lead happy, healthy lives at home and work. Whether you're becoming a mother for the first time, or well along the mommy track, you'll find this book to be a helpful guide through it all!" Sara Sutton Fell, CEO and founder of FlexJobs.com
| Follow this author |     |
Categories:
0 comments on this article
Leave a comment
