Extract from Squaring Circles by Carolyn Mathews

 

Chapter 10 – Restoring Harmony

 

As we walked into The Carlton, Jay took my hand and said, ‘Promise me, Andy, no more cracks about hotel rooms.’

‘I promise,’ I said, making my eyes as large as possible, at the same time fluttering my eyelashes ironically. I knew how to make him laugh.

He’d been cool ever since I’d spoken out of turn at The Feathers. And his coolness had offended me so I’d reacted by being even colder towards him. As a result, the temperature had dropped to the lowest on record since we’d got back together. That is, until earlier this evening, when he’d come back from his day in the studio with Gaby and seeing me primped and polished to perfection, had taken me in his arms and whispered, ‘I forgive you, for you know not what you do.’ To which I’d replied, ‘I bet I forgive you more.’

He’d laughed and bent his head so our foreheads gently touched.

‘You can kiss me as long as you don’t smudge my make-up.’

I’d spent too long in front of my illuminated mirror to risk getting it smeared. So he’d glided his lips lightly across mine and gone off to get ready.

Gaby had invited us to her hotel for dinner to mark the last night of her stay and I’d dressed up for the occasion in a Stella McCartney tuxedo suit with a white scoop neck top and spiky heels. My hair had been fashionably dishevelled by Franco, in return for which he’d extracted a large sum from my bank account. While the lowlights were brewing, I’d been manicured and pedicured to within a millimetre of my cuticles by a beauty therapist. Add to that the full body massage and facial I’d had the day before, and nobody could say I hadn’t done my prep.

When Jay appeared, he had on his midnight blue Boateng suit with a white, collarless shirt, and I fancied him like mad. As we left the house, he patted my bottom.

‘Make sure you behave yourself, or I might have to take you to task, woman.’

We both giggled and Jay got into the driving seat.

‘You sure you want to drive?’

‘Yeah. Early start tomorrow – Gaby’s last day here. Lot to do.’

*

I was a couple of glasses into the meal and beginning to feel like a gooseberry. This was the first time I’d met Gaby but I wasn’t surprised at how seamlessly her silver and cobalt bandage dress clung to her – the bodice consisting of two giant silver bandages, crossing from each shoulder to the back of her waist – or at how impressively her butter-blonde hair gleamed. I’d seen enough of her in celebrity magazines to know what to expect.

What I hadn’t anticipated was her accent. Maybe that explained why Jay, who hated pretension, was hanging on her every word.

My opening shot had been unimaginative.

‘So you’re from Liverpool?’

‘Yeah, a Scouser through and through.’

That was the cue for Gaby and Jay to perform a Scouser joke for my benefit.

Gaby: ‘Why wasn’t Jesus born in Merseyside?’

Jay: ‘Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.’

On a roll, they delivered a few more, which was my cue to put on a they’re funny but I shouldn’t be laughing face, all the time inwardly fretting at how relaxed they were together.

When they finally ran out of steam, I said, ‘So that’s what you’ve been up to all week – practising your comedy routine.’

‘Among other things,’ said Jay, cryptically, and I felt a tiny jab of fear.

They followed their gag routine with an inventory of the songs they’d been developing, from a mixture of Gaby’s half-finished scores and some ideas of Jay’s. They glanced at me every so often, their gazes returning to each other.

‘Honestly,’ Gaby said, twinkling at Jay, ‘The time’s just flown by. I’ve just loved it. Four Seasons is so peaceful.’

Jay was twinkling right back at her and I suffered a deeper stab of anxiety.

‘And the evenings? You haven’t been bored here on your own?’

‘No way,’ she said, directing her answer at me for five seconds before switching to Jay. ‘I had dinner in my room, then I got comfy in my PJs, went over the lyrics...watched a bit of telly. It’s been great. This is the first time I’ve eaten in the restaurant.’

It was plain why. There were a number of necks craning in our direction and I didn’t think James Jay, singer/songwriter, or Pandora Armstrong, novelist manquée, were the ones turning heads.

‘So you didn’t miss home?’ I said, hoping she wouldn’t see through my attempt to discover if she had a ‘significant other’.

Gaby blinked slightly. I sensed she’d detected a certain wifely unease and I kicked myself for being too obvious.

‘Just the cats,’ she chirped, ‘but I talk to them on the phone every evening.’

I had a vision of a troupe of performing cats answering the phone and miaowing into it.

‘Sounds like something off You’ve Been Framed,’ said Jay.

She laughed. ‘My ex moved in to look after them. He holds the phone and I talk to them. Daft, isn’t it?’

I bared my teeth in a smile, my disappointment at her boyfriend being an ‘ex’ rather than a gorgeous hunk she loved with all her heart and soul, rendering me temporarily speechless.

‘What’ll happen to them if you go on tour?’ said Jay, with more concern than I thought necessary.

‘Well,’ she said, looking dejected, ‘If Rog can’t be there, I suppose I’d have to board them. But I’d be worried sick. They’re Burmese and they need to be round people...’

There was a pause and Jay finally dragged his eyes away from Gaby, towards my direction.

‘We’d have them, wouldn’t we, Andy?’

Since when were we a cattery, I thought. And what if Oscar and Fritz object? But good manners got the better of me and I smiled as sincerely as I could.

‘If you think they’d be all right with the dogs...’

They exchanged a glance and the gooseberry effect intensified to the extent that I almost felt myself turning green and hairy. Gaby leaned forward and let the silver bandages take the weight of her voluptuous breasts.

Neither Jay nor I could take our eyes off them. For me, it was admiration for the designer’s feat of engineering. For him, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I’d say involuntary desire, which I couldn’t really blame him for. She knew what she was doing all right.

Gaby’s smile blasted me between the eyes.

‘We’ve been sending demos of the songs to my record label and they love them. With the ones I’ve already written, there’s enough for an album.’

‘Fantastic,’ I said, thinking of how much this must mean to Jay. ‘I can’t wait to hear them.’

There was a pause, which can only be described as pregnant, and I regarded them expectantly.

‘We’ll both need to go to the studio next week,’ said Jay, speaking faster than normal. ‘They want Gaby to get a shift on.’

‘Which studio?’

‘Abbey Road.’

I was puzzling out why Jay needed to be present at Gaby’s recording, when she answered my question.

‘Two of the numbers are duets. And he’s playing on most of the other tracks.’

She sounded apologetic, which made me suspicious.

‘Oh, I see,’ I said tartly, ‘You’re doing a Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.’

Jay gave me his ‘I am not amused’ Queen Victoria stare and I bit my lip to stop myself venting any further spleen. Red wine always did this to me. My fault for having the steak instead of the sea bass, I suppose. Gaby rescued the situation with a gurgling laugh.

‘Not quite.’

The waiter appeared with the dessert menu and I ordered a Death by Chocolate Sundae. The prospect of Jay disappearing through the looking-glass into a writing and recording wonderland with Gaby had set off a sugar-craving that could not be denied.

The other two hesitated for so long, that I almost expected them to order one with two spoons.

‘You can have some of mine,’ I said lamely to Jay.

Without taking his eyes off the menu, he said, ‘No thanks, just coffee.’

He glanced at Gaby who was still reading hers.

‘I’ll just have coffee, too.’

‘We have a special praline tartufo which is small, but very delicious, signorina,’ responded the waiter, ogling her bandages.

Gaby sat up straight and winked at him.

‘All right then. I can resist everything except temptation.’

Flashing his teeth and giving a little bow, he moved off pronto to carry out her wishes. As nobody had asked me if I wanted coffee, I had to shout my request to his retreating back. I wasn’t used to being ignored, but I seemed to have morphed into the Invisible Woman this evening.

On the way home, I asked Jay about his plans for the coming week.

‘I’ll go up on Sunday night, probably stay till Friday.’

He turned his head quickly to see my expression. I kept my face impassive, even though the thought of him spending all that time with Gaby was killing me.

‘Will you be staying with Ashley and Linden?’

‘No.’

 

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